Every puppy owner lives for this day. The day when training, bladder
control and that tiny speck of brain lodged in your darling puppy’s head
all converge into single thought - a thought that was so obvious to everyone
a universal dogtruth:
I’m supposed to do this outside?!!
Bells ring all over the countryside when this happens. Birds take wing.
The angels weep.
Oh sure, there will be accidents, the journey through Urineville is
not over yet, but a little neuron fired in puppy’s brain and he knows.
I saw that light of knowledge in Duncan’s eye today - I swear it! Maybe
I can stop using a bottle of carpet cleaner and a roll of paper towels
as a centerpiece on the dining room table. Maybe I can walk through the
kitchen without slipping in a puddle. Maybe, just maybe, we’ve turned that
Later, September 11th
Well, today was not quite the day… he’s still young yet…almost
Today was again, not the day… Well, you can’t ask much, he’s
just a baby…
Today was really not the day… Wouldn’t you think he’d have some
CLUE by now???
Today was absolutely not the day… One more day on my knees and
I’ll strangle him…
Today was certainly not the day… Is he mentally deficient or
is there a medical problem?
Today was still NOT the day… I’ve started to hum "Singin’ in the
Rain" as I clean up". Sanity is slipping away. I’m sick of watching
him. I want someone else to watch him every second so I can have a life.
I begin to wonder if a clothespin could be useful…It’s not that he doesn’t
go on command outside. It’s that he has a spare tank somewhere - a urine
reservoir tucked away in his knee. Oh sure, it sounds crazy to you, but
you’re not living with the little soaker hose. OK, I’m raving - but ENOUGH
TODAY WAS THE DAY!!! THE YELLOW RAIN STOPPED AND THE SKIES TURNED BLUE!
HEAVEN REJOICED. DUNCAN ASKED TO GO OUTSIDE TWICE!!! WHAT A GENIUS
PUP! WHAT A CLEVER DOG. THERE IS NO FINER DOG IN THE WORLD. HOW COULD I
HAVE DOUBTED HIS SINCERITY?
Still going strong. Asked to go out over and over and produced every
time. I’ve put the roll of paper towels in the closet as a gesture of faith.
Vigilant, persistent training - it’s paid off again. Both Duncan and I
are downright smug.
We are cooking! He is the finest puppy on earth. No more urine spills.
I don’t even know what room the bottle of carpet cleaner is in…He’s a wonder!
Life is grand!
The little creep pooped inside the house for the first time ever, then
celebrated by whizzing on the carpet and the kitchen floor twice. My world
is pee-soaked once again. I’ve started thinking what a lovely fur muff
he would make…
but...he’s still young...
Copyright 1997 Elizabeth Cusulas
Tale Waggers - Stories for Dog People
All Rights Reserved
Reproduction without written permission is expressly forbidden