I write this at the risk of exposing
my husband and myself as raving lunatics.
Maybe no one else does this.
We talk for our dogs.

Yes, we have become doggie ventriloquists.

This insane behavior crept into our lives with the first puppy.
"Did Earnest have a good day?" my husband asked at the door.
Some sort of madness crept over me - a question needs a reply - the dog canít talk - itís up to me...

"Oh yes, I went potty in the yard and played with my squeaky toys and napped".

It didnít seem odd.

Conversations with the canines became routine.
First it was
"Yes Mama, Iím repentant",
"No, Mama it wasnít me"
"But, look at how cute I am"

Now the little beasts editorialize all day.
"Did you mark that wall?"
"Oh no, Mama, it was Arthur. I am far too dignified to do something like that."

After 14 years of having us speak for them they wonít shut up.
"I donít want the stinkiní kibble. I want canned!"

It seems natural enough. No one is harmed.
Then non-dog people come to call. Their faces show a mixture of concern and terror.
Our families smile uneasily. We endure the stares. After all, it is a peculiar madness. Weíre not sensitive.
I just hope the dogs can keep their mouths shut about the whole thing.

Heavens,dogmama! Seek help at once!


Relax dogmama, my dog says this is perfectly normal.



Copyright 1997 Elizabeth Cusulas
Tale Waggers - Stories for Dog People
All Rights Reserved
Reproduction without written permission is expressly forbidden